Author: Peter Martey Agbeko, APR
This piece is inspired by an incident that occurred in Ghana’s Parliament on Wednesday, February 26, 2025.
For me, it was a bad joke! using the projective technique, I’m imagining what the outcome would have been if I was the interviewee on that occasion.
If you’ve ever attended a Christian wedding, you’ve probably heard the classic line: “You may kiss the bride.” Well, I’ve given it a little twist for today’s topic.
Now, anyone who knows me well will confirm three things about me:I can’t sing to save my life.
My dancing is a national security threat.My sense of direction is a disaster. In short, if a job interview ever involved any of these three, I’d be better off handing in my resignation before even being hired.
The Singing Struggle
Let’s start with my vocal abilities—or lack thereof. The only two songs you’ll ever catch me attempting to sing (and by “sing,” I mean mime) are:
My college anthem, Mbo Augusten, and
The national anthem, God Bless Our Homeland Ghana.
And even with these, I mostly move my lips and hope the person next to me is loud enough to cover my tracks.
The Dancing Disaster
Dancing? Forget it. Some people are born with rhythm in their bones—I, on the other hand, was born with a strictly “stand and watch” policy.
While others glide effortlessly across the dance floor, I resemble a confused robot trying to reboot. I long ago made peace with this reality and decided that my role in any dance-related activity is to applaud and admire from a safe dist
So, if I had been the unfortunate interviewee in Parliament who was unexpectedly asked to dance, my response would have been simple:“Sir, you may kiss this job goodbye.
”And with my dignity intact, I would have exited the room, never to return. After all, I wasn’t auditioning for a Broadway musical or a highlife band.
And truth be told, if that were the case, I wouldn’t have applied in the first place. I know my strengths. I also know my weaknesses—and dancing is at the very top of that list.
The Harrow Incident at my 60th birthday celebration in Harrow, UK, my legendary lack of dance skills became a major issue.
Thankfully, my two nieces, Bijou and [insert name], came to my rescue.They drafted a formal contract—yes, a contract—which I had to sign before they would take to the dance floor on my behalf. And trust me, they delivered!
They twirled, spun, and moved effortlessly to the beat while I sat back and watched in admiration. Meanwhile, I quietly wondered: “How do they make it look so easy?” I jokingly told my guests that if they wanted to see me dance, they’d have to wait for my 70th birthday—and even then, I’d need: Months of secret rehearsals
A very short song of my choosing a prayer chain backing me up Will it happen? Time will tell.
Lost and (Never) Found Now, onto my final great struggle—my sense of direction.
I can visit the same place five times, and on the sixth, I’ll still get lost. It’s a lifelong problem, and quite frankly, an embarrassing one. If you ever need to ensure my failure in an interview, just add a navigation task to the assessment.
The Politician’s Dilemma
The typical desperate politician is prepared to pay his way into getting elected into parliament. Those already there waste no time lamenting about the pressure and unrewarding nature of the job. Yet, except for a few cases, they seek re-election, and those yet to enter do everything possible to gain entry into the legislature.
That said, I can understand why an interviewee with that mindset would spring to his feet and begin dancing at the Minority Leader’s invitation, even if he’s known to have two left feet.
It’s a question of asking how high should one jump when asked to jump, instead of asking why should I jump?
I, however, belong to the category that will ask: “Why should I jump?” Embracing My Weaknesses not many people publicly advertise their weaknesses, but that’s just me.
I choose to be a non-conformist when it comes to certain things. Some people sing beautifully, others dance gracefully, and some have an internal GPS.
I, on the other hand, have accepted my fate. So, to anyone who ever expects me to sing, dance, or find my way without Google Maps, my response is simple: “You may kiss that idea goodbye.”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to double-check my map before heading out.
