Relationship or marriage is an intimate natural phenomenon that promotes continuity of the human race, creates a sense of companionship, serves as an intrinsic motivation trigger, medium for modeling a society, unique means to express and share love, etc. It also a medium that communities or group of people passes down its traditions, culture, and heritage.
I must say, marriage will not work for everyone considering many natural, human-made, and self-inflicted conditions, and circumstances
This naturally designed institution has made or marred great and mighty people: shattered or spurred talents, geniuses, dreams, aspirations, and innovation.
As our world changes, and we desire extreme individual independence, we seem to be losing our ecological phenomenon.
Statistics across the globe show that divorce is on the rise, creating many single parenting situations.
But I cannot deny that there are remarkable marriages and relationships out there worthy of giving their place in this article.
Due to the high divorce rate, I keep reading “marriage is overrated,” and I must say, I respect this opinion. I can humbly also suggest that we have trivialized and underrated blissful and exemplary marriages, which does not stimulate us to research into how others too, make it work.
Are we not over flogging and blaming marriage and relationships as an institution instead of holding ourselves responsible and accountable for our actions and inactions contributing to the high divorce rate we are experiencing?
I wish to share some recipes that facilitate divorce and wracks relationship with the intention to create an awareness and a sense of awaking for those who wish to marry or remarry or enter into an intimate relationship.
They can be considered as some red flags too.
1. I want to avoid fornication, so I will marry early so I can enjoy sex without sinning
2. Inability to cohabit intimately with others
3. All my mates are getting married, and I am left behind
4. Unmeasured expectations and fantasies
5. I am running out of time else I can’t give birth
6. The medical condition against childbirth is not in my favor
7. He or she is rich
8. Lack of relationship coaching investment and post-marriage coaching
9. He can take care of me
10. I love his voice and stature
11. Succumbing to family or peer pressure
12. I love her boobs and buttocks
13. He or she sex me like crazy
14. She cooks so well
15. I like his or her network base
16. He or she is a church person
17. I got pregnant with/for/by him
18. She is carrying my child
19. Trap him with pregnancy
20. He or she has helped me, so I owe him or her marriage
21. I will convert her or him when we marry
22. He or she will change when we marry.
23. I have pity or sympathy for him or her
24. Uncommon faith/belief/spirituality
25. He or she has a big inheritance or properties
26. He or she is obsessed with me
27. Motivation and comparison of other outward marriage experience
28. Lack of knowledge about some personality disorders, e.g., narcissism, highly sensitive person, borderline personality disorder, obsessive love disorder, paranoid personality disorder, etc.
29. Our kids will look cute they way he is handsome or how beautiful she is
30. Unplanned personal life
31. He or she will impact my career with his or her links
32. Mistaken his or her narcissism or other disorder to mean love and protection
33. Superiority and inferiority complexes
34. Unhealed traumatic experiences
35. Complacency and lack of self-investment / development in marriage
35. Assumption and believe that ” I am inadequate without marriage.”
36. Lack of effective communication
37. Limiting beliefs and skewed world view about marriage and relationships
There are many which would be unique to different people and in various circumstances.
They are what comes readily to mind based on my career and experiences as a transformational coach.
The success of everything marriage and relationships is a collective input and individual investment.
Scofray Nana Yaw Yeboah
Transformational Coach | Corporate Trainer | Author
Contact: (+233)243-085932 Email:scofray@gmail.com
